


The Woman in the Mirror

by thatnerdemryn



Series: Em's Femslash February 2020 [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: F/F, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:47:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22567303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatnerdemryn/pseuds/thatnerdemryn
Summary: Looking into the mirror was always hard for Clary, but every now and then it was a little bit easier.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood
Series: Em's Femslash February 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621414
Comments: 1
Kudos: 69
Collections: Shadowhunters 2020 Femslash February





	The Woman in the Mirror

Looking into the mirror was always hard for Clary. She was staring into it, picking out every single flaw as she exhaled deeply. She thought that maybe with her hair up, the dress might look better, like it always did for her mom. So she ran her fingers through her hair and pulled it up off of her shoulders. She held it there for a moment, craning her neck to look at herself from all angles but let it fall back down with a huff. She toyed with the straps of the dress, pushing one off of her shoulder and pouted at her reflection. Her shoulders and neck looked too scrawny with dresses like this. They looked like they were falling off of her chest that always seemed too small for anything revealing. She figured if she couldn’t reveal her chest, she could reveal something else to make herself stand out. She ran her hands along her hips and hiked the hem of her dress up just one more inch. She glanced at the pale skin that seemed to glow under the navy blue of the fabric and tugged the dress back down again. 

With a sigh, she considered the women around her. Clary wanted to look like Maia. She wanted the beautiful dark and curly hair that made Maia the center of attention in any room she was in. She wanted to look like Maryse. She wanted the curves that made Maryse’s hips sway when she walked with so much purpose. She wanted to look like Izzy. She wanted her chest to fill out every single dress she was too afraid to wear and she wanted legs that were accentuated with six inch heels. 

But she felt stuck. Stuck in this too skinny body with too pale skin and too red hair and too small to reach the top of the cabinet and too… Clary’s thoughts trailed off as she studied at herself once more.  _ Too Clary _ , she thought sadly. 

The necklace around her neck was suddenly suffocating her so she pulled it off and threw it onto the bed. The shoes on her feet made her calves look weak and her legs look stumpy, so she tossed them off to the side. The dress hanging straight on her body felt overwhelmingly uncomfortable so she reached for the zipper in the back. But she couldn’t reach it. Her arms were too short, of course. She felt the panic setting in as her chest heaved and tears stung at her eyes. She needed to get this dress off. She tried and tried to reach over her shoulder and behind her back to grab at the zipper but she just couldn’t do it. 

All of a sudden she felt the zipper slide down and she inhaled deeply, like she could finally breathe after a day of holding her breath. She stood in front of the mirror, clad in her bra that she never thought she needed and her underwear that made her look like a child, and behind her was Izzy. 

Beautiful,  _ perfect _ Izzy. With her hair impeccably styled, her lips a kissable shade of red, her dress hugging every inch of her flawless curves, and her smooth legs looking long and slender coming out of her dangerous six inch heels.  _ Perfect _ , Clary thought. 

“My love,” Izzy started and Clary felt the emotion overcome her. Just two words.  _ My love _ , Clary had repeated in her head. Her love, Izzy’s  _ love _ . This exquisite woman who had hoards of men  _ and _ women kneeling at her feet daily was standing behind her with a somber smile on her lips. 

“God, you’re beautiful.” Clary’s breath hitched on a silent sob as she shook her head furiously. Izzy just watched her in the mirror, Clary growing more uncomfortable in her own frail skin by the second. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just…” Clary trailed off. She knew she couldn’t begin to explain how she was feeling to someone as unblemished as Izzy. She would never understand. 

“One of those days where everything looks wrong on your gorgeous body?” Clary let out a laugh, immediately wanting to disagree with Izzy. Gorgeous? She wasn’t gorgeous. She was cute. Adorable, even. But gorgeous? Never. 

“Iz--” Clary went to turn away from the mirror, but Izzy didn’t let her. She placed her hands on Clary’s hips and stilled her. Clary shut her eyes tightly, scrunching her face like it pained her to look at herself for even a moment longer. Izzy’s hands smoothed softly over Clary’s hair and she felt the brush of her lips at her ear. 

“Open your eyes, Clary. See what I see,” Izzy whispered, her hand still gently stroking soft curls hanging on Clary’s shoulder. Izzy pushed the hair to one side and placed a light kiss on Clary’s neck. Clary opened her eyes hesitantly, but made sure they only caught sight of Izzy. Izzy smiled warmly at her. “Let’s start here,” Izzy whispered, running her fingers through Clary’s hair. “Your fiery hair matches your fiery personality. One look at it and I knew that if this girl was as bright at her hair, she could handle herself. And me,” Izzy added as she teasingly tugged at Clary’s silky locks. Her hand ventured down, running across her collarbones lightly. “And these,” Izzy commented, letting out a soft laugh. 

“My… collarbones?” Clary inquired, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“How badly I wanted to lick and nibble at them when I first saw them. I saw you in my dress, that dress down there.” Izzy motioned toward the crumpled fabric at her feet and began again. “I saw you in  _ that  _ dress and my first instinct was to put you down.” Izzy’s tone dropped as she remembered her own insult of Clary’s chest. For some reason, it never bothered Clary. 

“You--” Izzy held up a hand in silence before sliding her hands across Clary’s waist and stomach and up toward her chest. She brushed her hand over Clary’s breasts and Clary’s breath quickened. 

“I didn’t mean what I said, you know. You are  _ not _ flat chested,” Izzy commented as she used both hands to cup Clary’s breasts, as if to prove her words. Clary bit down on her lip and watched the mirror closely. Her breasts fit perfectly in the palm of Izzy’s hands. “Look how well my hands cover them. Look how beautiful your skin looks with my hands gliding over it.” Izzy let her hands drop to Clary’s hips, rubbing small circles over the soft skin above her underwear. Clary marvelled at the contrast of Izzy’s tanned skin but for the first time in a while, didn’t see her own as sickly pale. Izzy’s fingers stroked softly at the line of her panties and Clary’s heart jumped.

“Izzy…” Clary wanted to tell her to stop, that the words and the feelings that came with them were too much. Then Izzy’s hand dipped into the front of her panties and her finger swiped at Clary’s clit. Clary gasped, her eyes closely watching Izzy’s hand and she widened her stance unconsciously. 

“And your legs, Clary. The way that they open for me the minute I get my hands on you,” Izzy said, her voice now husky with want and need. Clary just watched her. She watched hungrily as Izzy rubbed at her clit, slower than Clary would have liked. But Izzy watched back, drinking in every inch of Clary. Izzy’s body was blocked by Clary’s and any attempt that she made to move was thwarted by Izzy moving her finger off of her clit. 

“Please,” Clary pleaded. Izzy shook her head and pressed a messy kiss to Clary’s shoulder, biting down faintly. 

“I want you to look at yourself the way I do, Clary. Look at how your skin flushes and your legs tremble. Look at the way your body leans into me like you can’t get enough.” Clary saw everything. She saw the way her skin reddened with every circle of Izzy’s finger and felt her legs weakening with every touch. “I want you to watch yourself as you come. I want you to see the way your hips grind against my fingers and the way you lick and bite your lips to try and keep quiet, even though you know how much I love to hear your moans.” Izzy’s fingers moved quickly, two now circling her clit faster and faster with every passing second. 

“I-- I can’t, Izzy. Please,” Clary begged. She had closed her eyes, unable to keep them open any longer. She couldn’t watch herself. She didn’t want to see what Izzy saw. She  _ wasn’t _ what Izzy saw. She felt her stomach tighten and her entire body warm as her peak closed in on her. “Iz--” Just as she was about to come, Izzy abruptly stopped her movements. Clary instinctively thrust her hips as she tried to find Izzy’s touch once more, but Izzy moved her fingers away from where Clary desperately needed them. 

“I want you to watch, Clary. You can’t come until you watch,” Izzy ordered quietly. And Clary had no choice but to obey. The minute her eyes opened, Izzy’s fingers thrust inside her and Clary moaned. Clary struggled to keep her eyes open but she needed the pleasure so badly, she watched. She watched as Izzy’s eyes gazed into hers and as Izzy licked her lips. She noticed with surprise that her own legs had started to shake and her chest heaved as pants and moans slipped from her lips. She kept her eyes open even as her orgasm overtook and the pleasure flowed through her. Her eyes devoured the way her own body shuddered and the way her muscles contracted. She drank in the way her face contorted in pure ecstasy as she was finally thrust over her peak. Her eyes didn’t cast away like she expected as her body flexed and trembled with every moment of bliss. But she finally closed her eyes as Izzy’s arm wrapped around her and held her tightly. 

“So beautiful, Clary. You’re so good for me,” Izzy whispered as she kissed Clary's shoulder and along her neck. Clary turned as quickly as she could, albeit probably not as quick as she thought as her legs were still struggling to work, and crashed her lips into Izzy’s. She held onto Izzy desperately, trying to push every ounce of emotion into the kiss

“I love you so much, Izzy,” Clary whispered as she finally pulled away from Izzy’s lips. Izzy pulled her back in and kissed her once more before pulling away just enough to speak. 

“I love  _ you _ , Clary. All of you. Every single bit of you,” Izzy professed as she hugged Clary tightly to her. Looking into the mirror was always hard for Clary, but every now and then it was a little bit easier. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was unexpectedly sad and then unexpectedly hot. Sorry not sorry????
> 
> Feel free to shout at me on [Tumblr](https://archeryandeyeliner.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/thatnerdemilyj).
> 
> Please leave kudos if you like it and comment to make me smile.


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